Last Letter

Pair of branches, who would dare cut them from you, who

would sin so great against nature itself as to pare you down,

who would belittle you, who would lessen your enormity,

who would blaspheme with a knife and a curse word, who

would seek to make you a nothing among an everything so

loud and so bright that would emerge a vacuum in your stead,

who hates himself so, to doom her, to doom us all and so

damn purity itself by a sickness that consumes every

breathing love, light, life,

left brain fool, left brain engineer,

killer fuck killer hungering engine who talks everything which

is a kind of gnawing on nothing as the teeth gnash and the tongue

seduces the ears of fools and dreamers and really the ocean is

not a force to be argued with and really this time is not a

force to be reasoned with and really space is space and

not a piece of paper to be folded and really you and your love

are non-negotiable and you some stupid rock of self that are

not my

self

so

unplacidly I

burn I

burn

I

take this bat to drywall

and make holes of

everything and then

burn it all down

which will be my last

spoken word which

will be my last testament which will be

my last message my

last will my

last letter to you

And so I'll sleep so much more comfortably in

forever,

conceding that I did my best,

that I loved,

that I tried,

that I knew passion,

while you all will lament senseless

loss of some young potential,

yet none of you will

'get it'

fucking sad pathetic trolls

enjoy your aging and your

anesthesia

Cancer

And then id murdered his

pathetic

brothers and he ruled from

his throne

stomach and he forced himself on

every young lamb within

eyesight and penetrated their

gentle innocences with his

priapic enormous tumor

and

id was the saddest fucking

wretch you could behold but

you'd never feel sorry for him be-

cause he would have burned you

already

Confusion, or Why I Am Sick of "I Don't Know"

So who shall I speak to then?

This room, with a galaxy or more of

folded emptiness, lines of air bent back

on themselves lined and stacked and

grouped together, an infinity of

lonely particles that dance a

silence?

Shall I speak to the walls I see,

who limit my vision with their

stark frigidity, their goosebump

flesh a reminder that I have

nothing to hang, who speak

nothing but echos back and

back and back?

Shall I speak to my feet, as I

reclined in some fucking torpor, some

listless paralyzing overstimulation of

thought which has shred every muscle

in me

shall I speak to my feet and ask them

why they move me no longer?

Shall I speak to thee?

A joke

Shall I speak to three eighteen a.m

as if she were some full lipped teen,

a minute pregnant with physical

possibility, supple, anticipating,

salivating, ready

?

Who shall I speak to

Who will receive my fist

The fist between my legs

The fist that sleeps encased

within these ribs

The fist caged in these teeth

The fist within my fist

The fist in my finger

The fist that flows

on my blood

The fist that clouds in

cold air when I ex-

hale and

when I curse you

and your name

and

the female human

and

pussy and

myself and when I

curse Him, his

fucking

holiness who is some

father or

some cloud of pictures that

MY father has planted

like seeds

to fuck

me and me and me and

my understanding of a

vision of this true place

I've never seen his face for

true but I've dreamed it and

hated it for most of this dreaming

time and

what can I say or

who can I speak to?

Who can I speak to?

Not you

The Future

My favorite movies are the sad ones.

I like the happy ones well enough, but

I feel like I take those for granted, like

air or touch.

It's the sad ones

that for once tell the truth.

After so long feeling nothing,

the heartbreak is

pent up

orgasm.

The Sound of Living In The Blink of an Eye

I am paper

I am cotton

I am crumbling leaves,

so easily dispersed by whispers,

dispersed like particles of smoke

from the lungs of my god,

he spoke me,

spoke life into me,

and like an afterthought,

some years later

he unspoke me.

In its silence,

it was the

loudest thing you'd ever hear.

Waves and Cystic Ovary

Cabled kiss to lips to this like

little trysts that list to this my

sister lifts her little fist to

seizure his collapsing hits and

hollow pits deliver its inchoate

fits derived from wrists and

pissing on the cross I lied de

- liverance and holy pi and

three one four infinity is

not the truth it's not for me I

smell a son I smell a ghost I

smell a sweet fermenting roasting ba

-by on the way from him to

her within her belly burn I

taste an everlasting gaze I

blur within the hazy haze I

cry for my confusion dear I

hold onto my wreckage jaw my

ribs and ribs my ribs I saw I

held onto a manger straw a

baby born into a man a

cable truck a panel van a

canine coin a courting call a

wicked game a fire fall a

pasture passing pious pill pro

-methean priapic spill mis

-take and kill miss

take and kill and still who

celebrates their fill of

souls or people or

minds or imaginations or

personalities or

individuals or

smiles that are

illusions for something

simpler

Beds x 3

In some emotional coma coming ten

thousand oceans of poisonous seed which

is just my greedy crude oil sickness, the

slickness of which leaves you stuck in

me and stuck in these sheets with my

knees at your temples as I sit on

your chest, tits deflated like some

abused waitress, some animal in

shock and I slap you and you

come back to me and my cock

rockets up and away but is held

earthbound or bodybound

tethered to me in between these

sick legs that throb like

Christ on his cross

Crucified I cried 'thank you

daddy' and I faded into a

-nother dream or a

-nother layer of waking and

I pissed myself at some point

and I

held the note that said the name

of the woman who knew my love and

that's all that happened ever

Averaging

Whose novacane baptism was

a soaking prayer on subway

car castaway penance willfully

endured through so many

shrieking stops and

starts and

comings and goings and

interruptions and

everyone's self

important story starts at

embarking and their story

starts at themselves and with

seven billion experiences

mashing and

mashing and

seven billion mashing.....

Emaciated

Hallowed valley of

promise milk and

honey promises a

constant gift from him of

a safe and steady

blanket pillow sort of

reliable comfort like a

friend like

sleeping like eye fluttering

vision like hunger like chewing like

her mouth and your mouth and

your mouth and mouths and

like learning so many lessons and

finally bawling and

gasping

and

a bus from

here to

New York City that

never leaves and

never arrives and

never

happened and

you actually

hated me but

I dream and

dream

and

dream

and

I dream

and

curse and

dream

and

you faked the entire thing

Synecdoche

Something between a butler and a

killer dog, lurking in his pocket waiting

for a throat, lips dry, teeth like mountains,

you've climbed all over those teeth,

climbed between the sheets, climbed

on them in your car in stuck traffic,

told me secrets, climbed on me,

seizures through your songs be

-cause you couldn't rest on one

or any one, your

nervousness made you a

fucking angel in my eyes while

my hands white knuckled the

seat because beneath it I was

always breathlessly pierced

by your phantom spear,

woman throbbing, cock

in hand, killing me, killing

me with the volume of it

and

in some kind of coma angrily I

waited for the arrow and the

rush of blood from the mouth in

my back through my belly to

waterfall shit

kiss the earth and flood everything low,

small people whose small ideas

dozed pathetically hopeful like

some stupid grass, every blade the

same, dumb, sleeping or worse,

energized, rocketship spine

ironbanded barrelchest puffed out

erect and so proud

to be the guy that

lays with her and puts his

golden cock in her and

he imagines it's some kind of

miraculous event that finally,

the universe allowed it, or

finally, this is what we've

ALL

been waiting for and

this is what the universe was

literally

designed for

for this

humping eternity when he breathed I

love you and he

gasped

I fucking love you and

she made him say it again and

again and

he fucking

swore it

over

and

over and he

for once

actually came honesty,

honestly, he BREATHED,

really real breaths,

he rolled over, he was actually

actually breathing and feeling and

he

really, actually

felt like a

human

( <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> )

now

now is different,

again,

it's gone again

you're not coming back are you?

Climax With Anyone But Her

Worse than a pig's head that

bawls from your freezer and

worse than a peach pit that

broke your mouth and worse

than accidental treefall and

worse than blood on everything

and spit in your palm smeared

on her face and worse than

pages torn from that

good book that somehow

screams your name into

the darkest hour of your

month long period because

your vagina is a broken

misery and you

can't stem the flow of

iron tears

you're

gasping to

cry that baby and yes

you're a man but

somehow you're

this pregnant woman

you're so full you're so

ready to eject the life that

conceived itself within

your chest and for

nineteen months has

made your ears ring with

nothing and

nothing and

the loudest nothing

and worse than this life is

fear and worse than

this life is being

too scared to die and

worse than life is

climax because it

reveals how

empty you are inside

after you come.

The Passage of Time

You sit in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute in the corner of a black room watching your stomach eat itself and receding into the distance further every minute .

Teenage Mother

Cripple wind finger bone

break nail cut deep rift

cavern upswell seabed

ocean cloud bubbling

vents feed anaerobic eyes

drink heat down swell

thick healthy hell of

comfort blanketed

mummy tight ava

-lanche burning

brightly from

within to suffocate

his gasping skin

shrieking prayers like

birds diving suicide brave

into depths to catch fish

who never look up who

look only forward and

forward until they're

dragged up into a

breathless void to a

disemboweled afternoon

with scales upsetting teeth and

tiny bones choking babies

who are then shook upside down

and upside down and

upside down shaken

babies shaking babies

who shook her baby to death

she did

tell a story

I met a boy with cracked hands today,

he told me he didn't love himself

i told him he should sleep

he started to cry and i held his

cracked hand so carefully and

told him he should sleep

and then i drank a glass of water and

we walked for some time down

so many streets i lost count

and all my words and all my

steps and every breath became

one blur and one breath and

i remember it happening like

so many photographs taken,

these beautiful streaming

thirtieths of a second that

wash like headrush

and the silence between the

camera opening it's mouth

and closing it is gaping

infinity and prayer orgasm to

the vastness of

forever and echoing and

echoing and echoing and

echoing and

suddenly

before i can tell him i love him he

becomes dust and then

no dust and I'm left standing with

my shadow

oblivions

Plug your hair baby

into

that light socket and

light up like a

Christmas tree for

me baby on fire baby

bright light burning for

ten days of night un

-til i breathe a mist of

tears that announces a

readiness for a certain kind of

death

one

that says i

loved

and i

lived fullness and i

tried

and

tried

until my

palms bled from

fingernail kisses that

hated every

thing and

time and

every

sick

fucking

face that

just wasn't

a cure to

this

infinite grey black searching

whose heart is a stomach whose

stomach is a mouth

whose mouth is teeth

whose mouth is snapping

snapping

snapping

snapping

snapping

snapping

need

my strangling hands

are

crushing infinity a

-round your

throat

this universe then

shouldn't be

Computers

Listless Christ creator I

cried as my

crater heart withstood yet

more and more

impact from the function of

time and naked happenings which are

happening all the time literally

every

time

Crossed legged retreat you

try to breathe but swallow

only water

That's wrong

A Price

Apostate sincerity burns,

you know this because

we all do first hand,

the betrayal of love in

-citing the worst hate

My father's prostate black

-ened in fast forward and I

stood for months in my

body quaking and quaking doing

nothing but living tremors for

Him

Say this labyrinth is a

trope for his

gift?

Then I will

burn it

all

down

laughing

madly

bawling

Rubbing Your Face

In hazy disquiet confesses that

his unyielding sex is regret em

-bodiment, fettered restraint which is

poetry itself yet nonetheless the

truest sad

Tits groping hand leg up biting

lip rake skin corrode a tender

calm

frantic

frantic shivering blurred scope e

-jaculating breath evicting oxy

-gen from lung cavern home out

-ward to inhabit a lone loneness called

without

shiver

hold out your hand for hand

outs of

love or

charity or

com

passion or

kindness or a

kind of a

look from his eyes to

your eyes that indicates

something similar to

knowing but a hands tied

sort of

nothing

I'm sorry

you will just have to endure your

heavy as hell endure your

solid gold cock endure

that

bleeding gallons of life a minute en

-gine that pumps and

pumps and

pumps

god

literally

everwhere without with

out with

out

with out with

out

with

out

with

out

Resting

In these blankets

I have

too many feet

in these blankets I

have too much

tenure in

these blankets

I

have ten sickle shaped

fingers clutching

one

hammer shape

penis in

these blankets I

have no one

in

these sheets I have

a heat in

in these blankets I

sleep and then

don't sleep

in these

blankets I have

sweats for some

teenage virgin in

these blankets I

lied to Universe

herself in

these sheets I stir

in

these blankets a

cloud came

in these

blankets I

monologued a

new testament in

these blankets I sobbed

the old one in

these sheets beneath

pleated skirt safety my

mother died in

these blankets I

discarded virginity in

these

blankets wars were

fought in

these blankets I

never return

Growing Season

Hold your heart up and out

of your chest in your

palm for loving

Christ and living

God hand God

hand kiss breath

whisper baby

time and time and

time

and

so much time and

some amount of

space more space and

more a love than

caving infinity can

suggest

infinity stomach infinity

eyes infinity saliva in

-finity chewing your

leg to leather chew

-ing your lips to

dust chew

-ing your fingers

like therapy chew

-ing your fucking

ovary devour your

garder devour your

garden devour your

garden de

-vour your

garden devour

your garden devour your

garden

then

Tired, Muttering

Numb mouth clenched fist stomach

love

Hate an angel of winged brilliance and winged

everything every

thing more than you can

be or have

so

salvation sleep temporary or

permanent until it's not yes

tricky trickster sleep, fooling

finally some sense of arriving in

a comfortable skin

and then toosoonmorning brings

fresh hard-on and

pyroclastic orgasm comes like a mouth screaming at

thousands of feet per second to

eat every piece of your

brand new calm

Glut

Confiscate sadistic america wisdom,

commandeer eastern womb to bear

fragile ceramic born orphans whose

gut flora jump ship on dream row

boats and winged shits

ape economy couraged by

Promethean ambition whose

liver now is the people

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

eat everything on your plate

when we forgot that we don't need

everything we can take

eat everything on your plate

Last Breathing Moment

Tide flee seabird sea tread water salt

ash engine forward fastly fasting heavenward

try muddy water wilting wander hips sore

from winter store to store to summer

lore of tree spirit book djin who let

the armies of Isreal in even though

they were nothing but dried bones

who saddened over burnt bread

took shelter from His wrath yet

drank His milk sweet bathing

silkworm working title term

fuck flirt with firefly notions of

foxes loping through the

dirt gallery to halls bursting from

the echoes of heartbeats that

are the manifest destiny of

Christ's throbbing human

erection in indifference to

taste and questioning skin

I'd rather taste the flesh of

foreign fruit than drown in

the queer parading chasm of

stupid certainty which is

the universal dumb

I'd like to die in

a glass tunnel over water

Crying

Television temptress ten cessations of

tenure quarrel fuck quarrel fuck this

cyclical love moon cycle hate

Qualities of skin, rise and fall of

breath and breast who drowns in

time and space

breathe stories

because they're everywhere and

every material thing

Oblivion

Finger tips lyrical lips and stick figure

rib illustration of a woman who

doesn't eat and

doesn't care for herself who

smokes heavily

drinks often who

poisons time with doubt and

sabotages time with doubt I

tried to shake her

tried tried struggled to

open her with

fists repeatedly to her

eyes

eyes

I liquor up because

there's nothing left to

do

Skin Spots

I've got fistfulls of

sand and

hair and

ash and

stars and

you and

stones and

cut glass and

fitfully sleeping

nights wake

exhausted days

Inventory

I have too many feet

my hands hung up

perforated lips hold

no water

my tongue flows away

shut eyes open blinded bright

breast filled with fright and fright and

hair smouldering it's burned for ten

generations but only at night

birds stopped gathering on

laugh lines ash

skin cash money paid in debt

no more my skin

teeth hollow eggshell brittle white

gums bleed gums will go to seed in

belly which is just a hungry thing

feed to it virgins and throwaway afterthoughts

centrepiece cancer cornucopia basket bread

board with this my threadbare body

cup of christ habits for no one

board with my loving bag of bones

or just sip your wine

in silence

Health Problems

Dawn down, missile motion towards the

ocean thump, glass tattoo wilting petal fade

teardrop orgasm guilting thrust

distrusted guts hold baby rust ovary

insist in cystic shakedown

her vagina bleeds constantly

art which is love de

feated by life but

breathing obligation purchases

a day and

another day

slight hand deftly conducting

cacophonous romance

attempting fuck

accomplishing seed

shakedown

sleep

I have too many feet

Cancer Everywhere

Are these the ending days, when

the pines lay down and the moss kisses,

skeletons of leaves crackle like

twisted fingers and the dog is

too old, when the bible flesh

loses material presence and

there is nothing left but

shadows of questions

Pages of dust, I breathed away the book,

I emptied this vault heart and scuttled my

stomach and I hung my legs up and I

lay down my arms beside my hands and I

was just a head and a hole with

searching eyes left

nothing to search

I have cancer

everywhere

Want

When all need can be refuted, which it can,
then want becomes the only true need.

I Think

It's good to have enemies,
so far as I can tell, pull, some force
some something feeling somewhat like
a hell of heartache and unknown
future
the one you love is
the one you fear the most

I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can hear my heart beat I can

Leaf

Cosmic blaspheme
tarantula gargantuan
harangue lips and
scold busy finger tips
corrupt art
vilify the virgin
dance religion
hang the pope
riches bowel
poor radiant teeth
honestly clean
honestly virtuous
tenth
thirteenth
pegasus whisper
tender pre-teen fondle
exploration slut who
doesn't know better
bathe in tongue
embrace confusion
abstract the abstraction
dialogue with mutterers
council with canines man's
best friend
taking advice from a hungry
mouth a wagging tale and
restless legs a 15,000 year
old wolf who is an avatar
for instinct
a memory capsule
moon's distance lover
who mothered the
world before birthing
a thirsty litter
milk
honey
bread
fire and fashion and
steadfast love and
origami truth whose
folds are lost the
yellow paper catches in
oiled baseball glove
embrace like
mom and
mother or
mommy who
spit me from the mouth bellow
who knows the nest is nothing
but a test for life and gravity and
the lemming gene the will to live the
migraine of being the
concreteness of the reality of
the undeniability of
living and
dying of the
irrefutability of
suffering at the
strange hand of
being the arbitrary hand of
THIS is me and not this or
that

So who accepts blowing around in the wind who
surrenders to being a pawn

Finally

London fog or fig leaf shroud Adam
Eve even
naked ape sensitive "human" who
grew smart weak willing willful
weary of the arbitrary or perhaps
just stumbled on snake
Is that why I am pathetic today?
Predestiny?
I long again for West 71st street
and New Amsterdam
A cold room and a radiator hissing
like you choking it
woke me I
panicked

I loved you then,
it became
sealed

Love To Hate Me

Dim the lights,
set your lips on fire

Sex Addiction

It was callous it was
careless it was
carving caricatures of
Christ into cave walls and
crystal balls it was
canine cravings for
killfuck killing it
was quantified love un
willing it
came it comes in spurts it
was quarried heart or
excavated soul it came it
quivered and so it comes
in shudders that deliver
nothing but
empty stomach
empty empty
stomach be
cause I
didn't
love her.

After So Many Things

Finished breakfasts and
used condoms and
read books and
chewed bones and
worn shoes and
weathered hands and
so many lies and
lived-in homes and
old Texas and
tired horses and
parched throats and
rusty hinges
lies lies lies and
arthritic dog and
dusty bible and
cold soup and
dried up creek

What am I
to seek?

Her

Harlequin hungover hard-on heavenly
high harassing Harriet's hymen heat
heat heat horrifically her heart heaved
having had him howling hell haunting hurting
henceforth hating hard hard hard-on and
forever [t]hereafter.

Things

A man with a beautiful face a woman with a beautiful lung a boy with a beautiful blue toy a girl with a beautiful baby a day with laughter a sky with wishes a stone with secrets a key with cupid a dancer with wings a horse with milk eyes a snake with a promise an ocean with a song a night with a murder a dead man dreaming with a grin a bottle full of space a tooth with eyes a mouth with anger a tongue with justice a home without a map a needle a tree a gift an angel a silver hair a stool or a prism with living emanations or the dead constellations of synapse sex that fled hurtling outward at the speed of living or a book or a bean or a beetle green or a bitch with a litter wanting milk so a saucer does because the tits didn't exist a shelf and dust a ball of cotton soaked in us a candied flower to a lover and a letter to a mother a kiss a dying breath a fuck another kiss a breathing death an unbreathing life after a stomach a hole a cancer a bowl a butter knife and a scalpel buttered bread and a chapel and a priest who prays for endless nights and ending days a cog a second hand a little dust mote and a sand coloured stain on darker skin that promises that once I was lighter but truth happened who calls it Sun a burn a hovering bruise and smothering for days who choose
a stick a knight a cup a holy ghost a sight a sore these eyes a bone who lies an inkwell sly and televised a carpenter ant a glass tattoo a virus an apple a tantalizing breast a seductive arching back a pound of flesh a price a pension earning as an old man aged before us who loved nothing but a quick dog a lazy finger a queen a crow a shred of proof

All Day In Bed

If me loving you doesn't make you
love me back, seeing how much I
love you will only make me
repulsive to you.

September 3rd, 2011, 6:13 am

I think,
there's something undeniably honest
about someone going insane.
As if there is nothing else as honest.
No one else as honest.

If this were truly the last thing I
ever wrote,

It would be my
most satisfying

We Killed

Whose prophet told him to bet on
chance not odds because
she's a better lover she tells more
truths whose mother always kept
milk on the table kept bread in the
oven kept a full cup for Christ who
never came without gifts who kept the
door unlocked for any ghost who
came who
loved a prayer and a song who
loved verses from the book of
Anger or Hate who
lip read the rapture and day dreamed the
meat whose

Slaughter was in reverence to
excellence and baptism and
honesty and virginity and truth
or half truth or shades of fractions of
truth or maybe opinions even but certainly
not lies whose slaughter was in honor of
Bill and Joan and Patrick or
Anthony whose whale never swallowed
Jonah whose bush never burned whose
lips never peeled from sunburn cruelty whose
tied shoelaces never tripped him whose
skinned knees were then a lie whose
guilt trip was false whose
sex addiction was his own weakness whose
liquor flowed by his own hand whose
tears were only sweat whose
volume upon volume of Conan Doyle were
only testaments to his boyhood innocence and
I wish truly I do that
we could I could rescue him from the
inkwell of his own insane downspiral but
the internet and the Heidelberg press
cahooted to kill something beautiful and
since then there's been nothing trustworthy
about us.

Because we killed the last beautiful person.

Making Good On A Promise

Something beautiful.

What We Become

Who killed jesus when they voted for a
baby who looked like a promise but was
just a black fuck, a vague hole or a
gravity well that pulled like a hooker, who

Hasn't eaten since the internet who
loves only orgasm who
tastes the most electronic blood who
laughs one zero one who
would frag you lol who
would spit in your yearbook unsigned and
photograph the place where your locker was who
will never remember forgetting who
is plugged in who
is out there in the
cosmos of pornography and attention deficit who
is scared as hell when the power's out whose
skin is a pale blue who
sits in wife beater and
white underwear because he is a
god who
chats angels and
searches the answers

Kill me
any
time
now

Wonder What The Fuck

Pulse dialtone love means
never being alone and
carry guns or carry sticks
or carry condoms for
weeping dicks or carry ash
for cloudy sky or carry heavy
burdens I will carry on and
carry forth I'll carry fourth
the major fifth I'll
carry fists I'll carry eyes I'll
carry water in my lies I'll

Fuck the dog metaphorically I
burned the house down in
my sleep
I

I'm jagging with existence and
pranking truth I'm playing games
with you and you and
two versions of my
self there's
the I I see as I and the
me I wish to be or be or
be better than so

Barf the universe barf the key
eject simple fucking honesty a
clear picture or a proof of
something
meaning
anything
so that I don't have to feel that
I'm wasting the preciousness of
moments I could have been sleeping
eternally

please
God don't let me fool myself
[again]

I just ask for constance in my heart or
fingers, certainty
that what is beautiful today will be
beautiful tomorrow and
in two years and
in two generations when
my children's children set eyes upon
my barfing work and wonder what
the fuck

Time Passes

And so we eulogize his soul, because
he was too angry to live, but he wasn't
brave enough to take his life.

Some day he'll learn that it's
smarter to die willfully than
stagnate confused and helpless.

I, How To Live

Who would lock art snobs and philistines
in the same gas chamber and let
the overwhelmed sane get on
with their lives.

End

Life is art so art is just trying to be life and trying is stupid.

Be, be, be

Love lies on a chair, unused or unopened like a letter written but
never sent or,
Love in blanket tatter rum stain kiss, pause, deep breathing moment -
hold it
Love sister, hold on
to your moment of comfort as she snoozes, exhalations that are your name
but fade to anything not your name,
blackwhite sigh, black then
white smiling eye downturn to
feet, feet, feet

Love me you don't love me you
won't love me you
can't
or
won't it
doesn't matter
what you say any
more

Effect removed from
cause is
what it is so

Just be and
be
and
be mine baby
be

Genius fuck
love baby
be

Suicide Note

I'm losing my language
every day
It's getting worse and
before long I will be mute,
still

The more I know, the less
I'm able to speak

Paralysis

Lyrical overwhelm like the constance of a humming sound,
that is my every day or night, so the metabolism of
consciousness is a beast in and of itself it's
everything to me now
Awareness I mean, selfness, the who am I or
what am I or why am I become the blood in
me

Inner world become only world and I've had
to learn to remind myself that out there is

More

Amelia Earhart

Amelia Earhart, children don't even
know your name anymore,
sad tragedy sad
Amelia I'll never love another woman I
promise as
long as I live I'll
never love again

****************

When you went down went
down with a smile into water so
deep so loving so everything

For the water truly is everything

Tao of Mouth

Collapsing mouth, rubble teeth
suffocating tongue who begs relief
holy tonsil broken jaw
whose mouth is closed for this is law

Prayer

Tangled in this hammock with a hand gun and a hard on and I'm
counting silver dollars in my daydreams in the sun and when I
take a little breath and when I breathe a little deeper I'll be
ready for my death yeah I'll be ready for the reaper but I
do not know my father and I can't remember mother I was
raised on television and I never took a lover who could
sell my heart for fashion who could stab me in the back and
who could tell me I was Jesus and then hang me from the rack

and then

oh

and then

oh

smile so politely girl and kiss me on the lips and
let me chew to bone your pretty little liar finger tips who
told me love is this and love is that I'll never let you go who
told me lie lie lie above all else truth isn't yours to know and when
I close my eyes and kiss the gun and say my last goodbye it's your
disgusting name your filthy prayer that I will surely cry

Papillon

None of you
deserve this none
of you
deserve
me.

A Prayer Before Bed Time

"I find it incredibly cathartic to finish off the night
with a passionate 'fuck you' to no one in particular
but everything equally. I actually stopped
masturbating."

- Him Dreamer Daywalking Manboy Animal

Found Scribbled On His Walls Posthumously

"Useless art for useless art for
useless eyes for
sedative purposes for
useless heart for
useless Universe or useless
experiment so our
useless art will be
useless apart from our
< ... >less heart will be
less a part of our
useless stops and
starts which are Uni
versally useless except as a
punchline regarding art"


We're still trying to figure out if it means
anything.

Remembering

Your saying silence like a mute bird
flapping it's wings, and you on your
triumph red victory horse that is a bed whose
teeth are the broken bayonets dropped by
patriots of love and virtue, who
kissed long and long and deep before the war,
who held hands for no longer than it took to
let go for accepting the fate of boys who
go to their fathers' battles to make
graves of beautiful babies
Whose blood should just as well be oil,
and we with laughtercry hysterical,
wash our hands,
eat our supper,
lay down by our children,
pray god, pray him hard like
throwing letters at wind wishing
for a

boy to win

wishing for a what?
a dreamless sleep or more the truth a
guiltless peace for once for once there
was a time when black became white with
no greys between

fight or flee or three eyes remembering a
dharma of sleep

All In One Breath

Crystal carnage new wave panacea for a headache that keeps throbbing through
decades and angel eyelash corduroy confetti in my aids aids aids infected father who
took me for granted and took this whole world for granted as a glass jaw harlequin or
a filthy mouth song bird who spits tobacco and tar on a hot day but never apologizes who
runs their filthy mouth who
carves curse words in soapstone and dialogues the night who
monologues the day with pepper in their eyes whose fireflies outshine the
beating heart of liberty of majesty of honesty of dynasty of
history
or
every little lie I ever cried until the ocean fed the sky to the tune of
fuck fuck goose I
didn't feel a loose tooth until the day my
father died who's
taking taking taking turns raping the moments of their will to live that's right this
suicidal universe is against you and it's begging for implosion it's resorting to
slow entropy it's torturous like sexual teasing on the hottest day
imaginable it's finger tips tracing your spine it's
a betraying tongue flicking your ear it's
a moist breath condensing on your icy belly and falling
falling down down down to
the place you fear to be alone with
your throbbing Judas
betraying your animal betraying
every part of you that wishes it could be a good man or a
virtuous man but you're
really a
vulture aren't you?

Accomplishment

I finally realized my truth,
that the greatest thing I will
accomplish in this
life is having an
orgasm.

I think I'm
ready to die
now. I think
I'd like to
die now.

Girls

You know, some of the
prettiest girls become some
of the ugliest
women.

Does A Title Even Matter?

Ochre eyes, cultivate anything that grows in
your soil when you did pray you prattled on
about God's love and God's loving gift, hell

I'd rather be dead than needing something from
Him, I'd rather thousands of tiny hammers pound
me and my love me and my love pound
my prized possessions

I hate everyone but it's funny how I won't allow
you the same
I want to not live but it's funny how I won't allow
you the same
I
How do I explain that

How do we proceed

Asshole Earth, swallow me this it
are not the one are not any
one because of disembodied
conspiracy theories, depersonalized
storylines that aren't true but were a
suggestion that she ran with ran with ran
with whistle wither blow in the breeze and
stiffen in the broken knees who's licking
at the coffin and who's hammering nails
out out out
wardly spitting coin
coitus cunning core services, the essential
taxed love

provided from the government
heart

cunt

A Dilemma - Of Many

I dislike drunks,
but I dislike sobriety
at night,
how exhausting is that?

Burning Love

There's so much fuel now
you long legged cunt I
want to claw your throat with this
burning love because I finally
know the face of it the thing
that isn't your fault but is because
you like I are complicit are laughing
with it at least in your sleep where
you don't have to confront so
consciously the horror of the
thing

That time makes new things old
makes beautiful things un
beautiful makes us ugly strangers makes
each and every word from my lips
a desolate sound or place

Who feels trapped and
weighed down or
who will eventually I
fear that day

There's so much fuel for burning love now
how long will it last

Blur

Oh these dreaming days followed by
disembodied nights, who wakes up exhausted
from punishing sleep only to punishing self

Whose phases are more varied and numerous
than a fistfull of moons, whose hands are [becoming a]
foreign flesh

Who soon won't recognize herself,
who I could only hope to keep

The Endless Ending Song

I ate her eyelids in rewind
I did this it was not unkind
I took her virgin lips for mine
I slowly drank her in

I brought the gift of honesty
She drank it with my poison tea
I am the god of brevity
I sowed her seed for sin

I watched the temple kiss the sky
I didn't flinch I didn't cry
I told her that she'd never die
Oh how I learned to lie

I couldn't mend her broken bone
I couldn't fix her broken home
I couldn't leave this girl alone
I was her Judas then

I read for her of the sublime
I spoke of stillness in our time
With hunger and my cunning rhyme
I caught her in my line

Soft caress oh soft caress
I took apart her pretty dress
I felt nothing I must confess
I do it all the time

But nothing leaves me fuller still
Than the smell of a tender kill
I'll do it all again I will
Until I die I die

Heartbreak Atmosphere

Tonight is a night for crying, because
I we are a sick chorus of sleepers dumbly
sleeping through crisis one two three while
babies are born and love insanity is cast in
shatter promised heart shapes oh
God oh Mom oh cherub crafty little
bird

oh giver,
everything I owe,
to space between every-
thing

Who Hasn't Slept

Hello morning, you're not so novel you
are not so adorable or perfect as the
optimistic fairytale poets argue*

You're not the new chapter morning, you're
not our panacea oh you aren't rebirth rebirth
rebirth
strictly

You may embody these things,
some times,
but you are not these things

These things are these
things
themselves

You are trying to be [the good], or you're
supposed to be [the good],
but you can be
cruel too

Bright asshole, too bright when I'm
just making my way to rest, finally
exhausted and surely not satisfied,
you signal fuck birds to call their
cheery curse words, laughter
in the face of my exhaustion,
fuck sun morning shit,
still haven't slept and
now the sky is
lit with

it.


It.





*This is a societally expected archetype. It is devious to contradict this "fact".

Idiots

Disturb pools of fluid and watch the body writhe or
retreat from asshole winds,
disturb something just for the sake of It

So burn something, hit a beautiful person in the mouth just
to feel a thing, I've never felt so alive as now

But I know it's just a trick

So my heart breaks, it means nothing,
nothing means everything, so
you can stop worrying about
anything

********

Right,
yes

Just barf your guts on canvas,
Capricorn fuck, promise fool promise fail just
lay down and stop breathing and
let your shaking pulse pounding
die into the meaningless ocean from
which it came

These rules are fucking stupid

Who's Complicit

Consensus of the senseless is that
everything is grey again, skin hums with
hunger itch and the bitch has no milk
for the litter

Peak oil came, rust is on everything now
and my mother rots in a library of flesh memories,
some sort of hospital it's not
hospitable, it's not warm it's not
friendly no

Disillusion approaches with
exponential acceleration, to some point of
almost reversal

What I mean to say is that the ugly goes so
far as to be beautiful again before I blink before
you blink we
slept together on this one

We went down together
We lost it all together
We all
let it
slip
together

So no blame

Vehicle

Vaudevillian loveletter, describe works of nature,
stunned by the end of oil but eureka, I'm moved,
tears flow and I step out of myself, troublesome
silent peaks, troublesome climate

Document your dependence and reflect,
who knows that energy is our central
birthgiver,
praise your car, because
without it you are
nothing.

Excuse me I'm nauseous.

Despite all your bullshit, the reality of

Assholes of the earth expel
hamburger flesh like
a job

Layer layer layer
bullshit bullshit
self aggrandizing moustache
v-neck deep and
three bitches laughing along
at ANYthing you say

fuck mouth

Assholes of this earth or
Earth [sorry/not sorry]
unite[?]
in gang-rape of
something beautiful yet
un realized or
un manifest in
its
entirety so
whoop whoop
hooray and
whoop whoop light
another fire and
crack another
brew and
light light light light that
big ole' bonfire under the collective
asses of every one of your naive or
maybe just optimistic 'old man's YEAH
so kiss his cheek[?} or present your
ass cheeks I'm
really not sure which you're
down for but
something big
and offensive is
coming right[?]

Civilization as we
know it is
a
hilarious
pretence or
joke or
naive fantasy or
maybe strategy or
who knows or
who knows
or
who in the
hell
knows or
...

So I'm tired...
I'm unsure,
I feel unsettled maybe or
unqualified to cast my say
on what happens next...

I'm flawed, yes
I'm weak, oh yes yes,
I'm
I'm
...
I am




and nothing...

So much hair to cover that face, you've
got
So
much hair covering your lovely
face, baby girl I'm
sweating the hard stuff I'm
sweating every little imagined
scenario

Because I'm chronic worry and
I'm a tight gut
mother fucker I'm
annoying
at times aren't
I

(why bother asking you,
I know I am)

So as you cut all
your hair I
imagine this growth
of something something
hair hair love no that's
incorrect it's
hope hope
no
it's
dumb naive it's
fool delusion it's
stomach bursting through
walls of the real Now and
trying to manifest but
reality is the only
God god I

Wait I
Feel I
Tight gut
hunger I
yearn for
thirst in
want for
beg for
dream of
you
and
You
and
You
and I and
You

I make no spelling mistakes when
I'm
in love.

Love is

Your hospital bed is the end of the world,
I stopped killing spiders,
Now I
feel your lips every time I
wash my hands,
hear every struggling breath,
finally learned to weep,
your hospital bed is
love defeated by life.

Her

Whose violence is vocal, whose
lyrical exhalation is a cold wind,
whose eyelashes are nets trapping
the bycatch of beautiful vision,
whose sweat is a fuel for sleeping
sickness,
whose history is an ocean of tears,
whose love is measured in the
misspent years between trying
and hopelessness, between
the faceless I and the changed
I,
whose two spirited truth seals
this night time casket,
night time night,
whose cruelty is soft, and
innocent, and honest.

I understand/I don't understand.

Time

It's almost
time.

...To a box in a hole in the Earth which is a sphere...

Crashed astronaut or naked
ape, or damn
fool tabby cat, throbbing
heart and shiver cage

Shell of plaster shaking
in a wind, aging in fast forward,
forwardly spiralling backwards in
the 4th dimension

Hail of empty lung prayers is the
story of the night time night,
common, very
very common

Now I'm not long for this world,
the shakes are getting worse and
my brave cowardice is peaking on
angry fuel

Who is fed up, who is tired, and
who simply disagrees with the
structure of the
It or who simply
cannot navigate the deafening
noises patterns of human
emotional language and
interpretation,
yes, who speaks and speaks and
speaks and is never
understood in 1:1

So I will die and lose*
this Thing I know, it will
never see humans.

Gasping Gasping Gasping

I feel different, difficult, devoted ghost, starving heart...

Listless eyelids useless art,
band of sleepers band apart,
Caution eyesore karmic lamb,
foolish tabby this I am
Gentle nightmare wooded jaw,
bloody bed sheet manger straw
Fleeting chapter crooked spine,
frozen tongue converging line
Sinew silence gasping sex,
gasping gasping gasping -
hex
Coral sunset beauty keep,
waking vision chorus sleep
Callous gesture fickle eye
Friendless snowfall baby sly

and
Gasping gasping gasping -
sleep and
gasping gasping
sleep and
gasping sleep and
-.

Angel # 2

Travel miles following the periods that
trail your sentences, you always
spoke in broken english

This child is a bridge between us,
my heart to your belly,
we built a furnace to
bear a star

So I've been time
traveling again through
letters, baby girl my
compass.

Angel

Lips ellipsis sister
hold my hand,
bear my vision and
carry me for water,
and someday meet
this angel she's my
daughter.

Lips ellipsis sister
wait
three days eight hours
5 cigarettes and a
glass of water

When you meet this angel
see your daughter.

Harpoon yourself, Idiot

'Yes, there are plenty of fish in the sea,
but I've only ever concerned myself with
Moby fucking Dick....'

'I told you this, I meant it....'

I would trade all of this
poison for the
vanilla boring safety of
love.

A dog, a
house,
kids.

Ignore

Sanctimonious I, fucking,
RIGHT?
BABY?

That's right.
Ignore the junky even
when he sees.

Avoiding A Tragedy

Abort that fucking baby,
Good Friday

Disorientation

Fire handguns into the night while
tigers hang in still time, faces of
men with no faces weep

Lying, the beautiful bride
takes everything, insult,
injury
pride

Noise patterns in chaos,
typical nights in
blackout drunk or approaching,
cannot hear over the
thin

thin

silence

450 for 35 Minutes

Wake in a room of tinfoil?
Trying to cook yourself no doubt,
oven of half baked ideas it's
not your fault

A little sugar a
little salt a little
love a little truth
a little honesty
a little wisdom
and blood from
anything that
moves

A tooth
an eyelash a
dash of tear drop
confession

Recipe
fur

Red Planet

Mars is above us, the
moon is gone,
red eye in the ceiling
of black black blankets and
fuck me, it's beautiful

Times like these, elegance gives
way to truth unbound,
fingers give way to tongues and
sound and I give
to gravity of moon gone
Mars

Red eye in the ceiling
Red eye in the night

***

'Wait', Impossible

And time filled with nothing,
ulcers ulcers ulcers
rhapsody intestinal
but everyone says 'wait'

Impossible

Big exit is calling

Sleep

Stuck

A lot of assholes and
a hard place

Drink up

Yellow teeth,
deserts in kansas
and stigmatizing smile
Fourteen minutes of safety
followed by two minutes
of repeated stab wounds to
the chest and gut
Do not let sadness and anger grow
Black cast iron pot filled with
bones and bones
and some water and salt
making bone soup and
you call that soup,
that's laughable
Train yard, train station
you have some fixation
with coming and going and
thousands of people
passing which,
is funny,
because you hate nothing more than
change
You dream of jellyfish constantly,
suffocating on that animated plastic,
killer afterbirth some kind of cruel
joke
Ramble, in your chair in the
empty room
in the
dark
in your apartment
in your hell
that is
a heaven
of sorts
Your sarcasm doesn't always outweigh your
weakness
Drink up
Forget
Your chin is nearly on your
chest

A Vision Of The Universe As Seen From The Beach Next To An Ocean That Doesn't Exist

Fish bowl museum
ocean of truth to drink in
live in
pray for

At the edge of that ocean
sand dunes stretch for
dreaming days, miles
until we wake from
milky smoke screens of
spinning

Eyes dance behind curtain
lids but catch the glow of
so many suns,
buried in those dreams
the hint of all the days
passed

Shivering now on a beach as
unfamiliar as this two mooned
night, I

Wait
By fireside for the tide
to ebb, for the one
winged albatross who
said nothing and nothing
then everything
all

in an
instant of
more
everything

There was
nothing
linear
about it

It was so
so
loud.

Headaches and Fingers

Beneath a suffocation cloud be
near me suffocation loud and
fear three visions:
a child
a bone
a broken branch

Entropy smoke in my eye, the
stinging electric the first feeling
in days aside from
gut
oh gut,
how I feel you

Suffocation cloud become the
silent treatment in a shroud of
headaches and fingers
headaches and fingers
headaches and fingers

March 2, 2011 and A Mystery Cloud

Did you attend the
coronation of the sky king

You did,
with every breath, with
eyes closed sleeping,
your horizontal prayer
to him

In your distorted room,
wide angle horizons,
muted whites,
you float above the bed
somehow stealing your
photographs right from
my dreams

Which is why I'm
obsessed

I don't know how you do it

Only the sky king knows
and he hates me

Pardon me,
it's time to
pull at my skin again

I have to go

'67 or '11, Sweltering

This is our summer of
love so
love the bomb, drink
water from the bong, take
lessons from the dharma eating
pigeons in the streets, take
what you need to
eat sleep shit shit shit
and
eat sleep weep weep weep for
sixty four hours of hell on earth

This is our sweet summer of love,
our sweltering hell.

You're Right

There IS nothing worse than
too late.

In The Mirror

You're too busy having bandaid orgasms and
chasing entropy smoke to face your fears,
put your fist through that
(twelve month) eternity wall, and
finally, skull fuck
The Universe with that
veiled seed of Everything,
the Know that you are
luckycursed to have growing
in your belly ever since the
conception of your reason.

Sex is revolting;
turning inside out
from the guts is
the only thing that matters
anymore.
Angrily.

meditate on

Am I a teenage boy or a teenage man?
Question mark tattoos adorn my
hands as sand and keys
pour from my mouth

Like words from pleading eyes I
nearly hypnotized from the
afterglow of dreams I sit
straight as the line I did not
trace I
meditate

on the past the present, future
and meditate
on which of those worlds I
should occupy

and meditate
on why I no longer
weep

and meditate
on

and meditate
on

and meditate
on

Borders Boxes Echo Borders

Box, echo box, drag a dead man through the streets

Coronation sound like rattle breath for borders I

will never rest to eat

A Syllable Called

Then our genitals will grow on trees and we'll
fuck the forest at night for kicks and seeds

Useless oceans for thirsty planet, that's a
million dry mouth requiems, a
cacophony

Of sound of sight of
sound mind in spite of
the sum of all truths condensed
into a syllable called

Knowing

nebulous cloudthinking,
sincerity in bathtub recordings,
a confession,
a rooftop gasping kill like
orgasm beneath water,
who've had their fill
but stolen everything more but
less than the every thing of
history

a personal more

human

structure and tears
holding hands with
logic meeting gut I,
I
EYEFUCK a blurry moving picture,
more of a vision,
angrily ogle... that...thing
that is called.... the
WHAT
that I am supposed to "do"

distaste, and
I hasten to blur my own
vision with liquor and
tits and
tits and
tits and

useless fucking sex

learning is difficult
knowing is unbearable

Advice

Don't build your foundation on
the jello of sex, sweet
transparent and
nutritionally
empy

Flows

This is the sound of a one track mind
trapped in a
one track time a
line a
pencil piece of string
an
unforgiving kiss
a
letter soaked in
sweat and love and
unforgiving love
and
you
and everything I
ever asked of
you

beloved

magic fingers magic
hands
of
black and white tonal perfection
oh!
I can't even steel myself to look any
longer I
can't even hold the book
any longer

the one unpublished
the one that grows like cancer
somewhere
between us
coming

it weighs me down
pulls me down like
the anchor I swore I'd
be

so where's my
anti
gravity

now?

I don't know

I don't know
where you are

Wait a second....

.... you knew I'd never be finished, that I have an infinity of things to tell you...
... so why did you ask me if I had anything else to say?

Who Scares The Hell Out of Me....

I'm writing you a book but
you're going to burn it in the
back alleys of your dark heart,
you won't read it you'll just
tear it apart but I'll write it
I will.

Everything I do I do for you.

Everything I do, to impress a girl.

Recurring Dream - Rough

He wakes in bed, a furious storm is raging outside
He's afraid to look, ocean waves are crashing against
the window of his second story bedroom,
his house is out to sea

Pious

Making small talk with silence

3:52 am

A girl who'll take her clothes off,
an angry fucking mouth,
owls perched in trees looming
over little children with
bloody knees lost in the dark
at night, parents out with
flashlights and intestines
twisted tighter than God's love
for you,
for you.

I want to set this room on fire.
To watch it.

I need to die.

I want you to

Grey cutout, of smoke,
easily dispersed presence,
I hope you die, for peace for
sleep finally proper
sleep

Don't think, don't talk dont
speak,

I know it

I know what I've become

Fold

Do you pull me,
legless prayer for sightless eye,
I fold, and again, seven times until
I am just layers of myself

Twin Particles

Carousel bitter
molasses prize
firework daytime
toppling revelry

Television shoes
reading hat
companion plant
coffee sunset

Laminate breakfast
waffle lung
anthem careful
atlas gun

Foreplay foreword
forest four
fire furnace
finger filming

Black Berry Letters

Just burn my letters when they arrive

Shuffle

Shuffle,
deck of cards smells like
bedsheets and hair,
finger prints fade from them
like breath on glass
The birds outside
somehow weather the cold,
I drink warm lemon water
from a cup and watch
They chirp
dutifully, song
of the arcing sun

Shuffle,
smoke cigarettes from memory
Shuffle,
my skin remains vigilant
Shuffle,
what's coming

Finally, The Words

Finally, I found the words I found
the way to manifest the Thing
I've been losing my mind in
trying to do to say

Grip the flesh that covers my ribs,
dig deep, pull

Finally, familiar touch.

His Lips

Petals to finger tips
like tongue tastes human metal,
he plays his harmonica
until his lips bleed.

Love is killing yourself to have something
life isn't worth living without.