Wonder What The Fuck

Pulse dialtone love means
never being alone and
carry guns or carry sticks
or carry condoms for
weeping dicks or carry ash
for cloudy sky or carry heavy
burdens I will carry on and
carry forth I'll carry fourth
the major fifth I'll
carry fists I'll carry eyes I'll
carry water in my lies I'll

Fuck the dog metaphorically I
burned the house down in
my sleep
I

I'm jagging with existence and
pranking truth I'm playing games
with you and you and
two versions of my
self there's
the I I see as I and the
me I wish to be or be or
be better than so

Barf the universe barf the key
eject simple fucking honesty a
clear picture or a proof of
something
meaning
anything
so that I don't have to feel that
I'm wasting the preciousness of
moments I could have been sleeping
eternally

please
God don't let me fool myself
[again]

I just ask for constance in my heart or
fingers, certainty
that what is beautiful today will be
beautiful tomorrow and
in two years and
in two generations when
my children's children set eyes upon
my barfing work and wonder what
the fuck

Time Passes

And so we eulogize his soul, because
he was too angry to live, but he wasn't
brave enough to take his life.

Some day he'll learn that it's
smarter to die willfully than
stagnate confused and helpless.

I, How To Live

Who would lock art snobs and philistines
in the same gas chamber and let
the overwhelmed sane get on
with their lives.

End

Life is art so art is just trying to be life and trying is stupid.

Be, be, be

Love lies on a chair, unused or unopened like a letter written but
never sent or,
Love in blanket tatter rum stain kiss, pause, deep breathing moment -
hold it
Love sister, hold on
to your moment of comfort as she snoozes, exhalations that are your name
but fade to anything not your name,
blackwhite sigh, black then
white smiling eye downturn to
feet, feet, feet

Love me you don't love me you
won't love me you
can't
or
won't it
doesn't matter
what you say any
more

Effect removed from
cause is
what it is so

Just be and
be
and
be mine baby
be

Genius fuck
love baby
be

Suicide Note

I'm losing my language
every day
It's getting worse and
before long I will be mute,
still

The more I know, the less
I'm able to speak

Paralysis

Lyrical overwhelm like the constance of a humming sound,
that is my every day or night, so the metabolism of
consciousness is a beast in and of itself it's
everything to me now
Awareness I mean, selfness, the who am I or
what am I or why am I become the blood in
me

Inner world become only world and I've had
to learn to remind myself that out there is

More

Amelia Earhart

Amelia Earhart, children don't even
know your name anymore,
sad tragedy sad
Amelia I'll never love another woman I
promise as
long as I live I'll
never love again

****************

When you went down went
down with a smile into water so
deep so loving so everything

For the water truly is everything

Tao of Mouth

Collapsing mouth, rubble teeth
suffocating tongue who begs relief
holy tonsil broken jaw
whose mouth is closed for this is law

Prayer

Tangled in this hammock with a hand gun and a hard on and I'm
counting silver dollars in my daydreams in the sun and when I
take a little breath and when I breathe a little deeper I'll be
ready for my death yeah I'll be ready for the reaper but I
do not know my father and I can't remember mother I was
raised on television and I never took a lover who could
sell my heart for fashion who could stab me in the back and
who could tell me I was Jesus and then hang me from the rack

and then

oh

and then

oh

smile so politely girl and kiss me on the lips and
let me chew to bone your pretty little liar finger tips who
told me love is this and love is that I'll never let you go who
told me lie lie lie above all else truth isn't yours to know and when
I close my eyes and kiss the gun and say my last goodbye it's your
disgusting name your filthy prayer that I will surely cry

Papillon

None of you
deserve this none
of you
deserve
me.

A Prayer Before Bed Time

"I find it incredibly cathartic to finish off the night
with a passionate 'fuck you' to no one in particular
but everything equally. I actually stopped
masturbating."

- Him Dreamer Daywalking Manboy Animal

Found Scribbled On His Walls Posthumously

"Useless art for useless art for
useless eyes for
sedative purposes for
useless heart for
useless Universe or useless
experiment so our
useless art will be
useless apart from our
< ... >less heart will be
less a part of our
useless stops and
starts which are Uni
versally useless except as a
punchline regarding art"


We're still trying to figure out if it means
anything.

Remembering

Your saying silence like a mute bird
flapping it's wings, and you on your
triumph red victory horse that is a bed whose
teeth are the broken bayonets dropped by
patriots of love and virtue, who
kissed long and long and deep before the war,
who held hands for no longer than it took to
let go for accepting the fate of boys who
go to their fathers' battles to make
graves of beautiful babies
Whose blood should just as well be oil,
and we with laughtercry hysterical,
wash our hands,
eat our supper,
lay down by our children,
pray god, pray him hard like
throwing letters at wind wishing
for a

boy to win

wishing for a what?
a dreamless sleep or more the truth a
guiltless peace for once for once there
was a time when black became white with
no greys between

fight or flee or three eyes remembering a
dharma of sleep

All In One Breath

Crystal carnage new wave panacea for a headache that keeps throbbing through
decades and angel eyelash corduroy confetti in my aids aids aids infected father who
took me for granted and took this whole world for granted as a glass jaw harlequin or
a filthy mouth song bird who spits tobacco and tar on a hot day but never apologizes who
runs their filthy mouth who
carves curse words in soapstone and dialogues the night who
monologues the day with pepper in their eyes whose fireflies outshine the
beating heart of liberty of majesty of honesty of dynasty of
history
or
every little lie I ever cried until the ocean fed the sky to the tune of
fuck fuck goose I
didn't feel a loose tooth until the day my
father died who's
taking taking taking turns raping the moments of their will to live that's right this
suicidal universe is against you and it's begging for implosion it's resorting to
slow entropy it's torturous like sexual teasing on the hottest day
imaginable it's finger tips tracing your spine it's
a betraying tongue flicking your ear it's
a moist breath condensing on your icy belly and falling
falling down down down to
the place you fear to be alone with
your throbbing Judas
betraying your animal betraying
every part of you that wishes it could be a good man or a
virtuous man but you're
really a
vulture aren't you?

Accomplishment

I finally realized my truth,
that the greatest thing I will
accomplish in this
life is having an
orgasm.

I think I'm
ready to die
now. I think
I'd like to
die now.

Girls

You know, some of the
prettiest girls become some
of the ugliest
women.

Does A Title Even Matter?

Ochre eyes, cultivate anything that grows in
your soil when you did pray you prattled on
about God's love and God's loving gift, hell

I'd rather be dead than needing something from
Him, I'd rather thousands of tiny hammers pound
me and my love me and my love pound
my prized possessions

I hate everyone but it's funny how I won't allow
you the same
I want to not live but it's funny how I won't allow
you the same
I
How do I explain that

How do we proceed

Asshole Earth, swallow me this it
are not the one are not any
one because of disembodied
conspiracy theories, depersonalized
storylines that aren't true but were a
suggestion that she ran with ran with ran
with whistle wither blow in the breeze and
stiffen in the broken knees who's licking
at the coffin and who's hammering nails
out out out
wardly spitting coin
coitus cunning core services, the essential
taxed love

provided from the government
heart

cunt

A Dilemma - Of Many

I dislike drunks,
but I dislike sobriety
at night,
how exhausting is that?

Burning Love

There's so much fuel now
you long legged cunt I
want to claw your throat with this
burning love because I finally
know the face of it the thing
that isn't your fault but is because
you like I are complicit are laughing
with it at least in your sleep where
you don't have to confront so
consciously the horror of the
thing

That time makes new things old
makes beautiful things un
beautiful makes us ugly strangers makes
each and every word from my lips
a desolate sound or place

Who feels trapped and
weighed down or
who will eventually I
fear that day

There's so much fuel for burning love now
how long will it last

Blur

Oh these dreaming days followed by
disembodied nights, who wakes up exhausted
from punishing sleep only to punishing self

Whose phases are more varied and numerous
than a fistfull of moons, whose hands are [becoming a]
foreign flesh

Who soon won't recognize herself,
who I could only hope to keep

The Endless Ending Song

I ate her eyelids in rewind
I did this it was not unkind
I took her virgin lips for mine
I slowly drank her in

I brought the gift of honesty
She drank it with my poison tea
I am the god of brevity
I sowed her seed for sin

I watched the temple kiss the sky
I didn't flinch I didn't cry
I told her that she'd never die
Oh how I learned to lie

I couldn't mend her broken bone
I couldn't fix her broken home
I couldn't leave this girl alone
I was her Judas then

I read for her of the sublime
I spoke of stillness in our time
With hunger and my cunning rhyme
I caught her in my line

Soft caress oh soft caress
I took apart her pretty dress
I felt nothing I must confess
I do it all the time

But nothing leaves me fuller still
Than the smell of a tender kill
I'll do it all again I will
Until I die I die

Heartbreak Atmosphere

Tonight is a night for crying, because
I we are a sick chorus of sleepers dumbly
sleeping through crisis one two three while
babies are born and love insanity is cast in
shatter promised heart shapes oh
God oh Mom oh cherub crafty little
bird

oh giver,
everything I owe,
to space between every-
thing

Who Hasn't Slept

Hello morning, you're not so novel you
are not so adorable or perfect as the
optimistic fairytale poets argue*

You're not the new chapter morning, you're
not our panacea oh you aren't rebirth rebirth
rebirth
strictly

You may embody these things,
some times,
but you are not these things

These things are these
things
themselves

You are trying to be [the good], or you're
supposed to be [the good],
but you can be
cruel too

Bright asshole, too bright when I'm
just making my way to rest, finally
exhausted and surely not satisfied,
you signal fuck birds to call their
cheery curse words, laughter
in the face of my exhaustion,
fuck sun morning shit,
still haven't slept and
now the sky is
lit with

it.


It.





*This is a societally expected archetype. It is devious to contradict this "fact".

Idiots

Disturb pools of fluid and watch the body writhe or
retreat from asshole winds,
disturb something just for the sake of It

So burn something, hit a beautiful person in the mouth just
to feel a thing, I've never felt so alive as now

But I know it's just a trick

So my heart breaks, it means nothing,
nothing means everything, so
you can stop worrying about
anything

********

Right,
yes

Just barf your guts on canvas,
Capricorn fuck, promise fool promise fail just
lay down and stop breathing and
let your shaking pulse pounding
die into the meaningless ocean from
which it came

These rules are fucking stupid

Who's Complicit

Consensus of the senseless is that
everything is grey again, skin hums with
hunger itch and the bitch has no milk
for the litter

Peak oil came, rust is on everything now
and my mother rots in a library of flesh memories,
some sort of hospital it's not
hospitable, it's not warm it's not
friendly no

Disillusion approaches with
exponential acceleration, to some point of
almost reversal

What I mean to say is that the ugly goes so
far as to be beautiful again before I blink before
you blink we
slept together on this one

We went down together
We lost it all together
We all
let it
slip
together

So no blame

Vehicle

Vaudevillian loveletter, describe works of nature,
stunned by the end of oil but eureka, I'm moved,
tears flow and I step out of myself, troublesome
silent peaks, troublesome climate

Document your dependence and reflect,
who knows that energy is our central
birthgiver,
praise your car, because
without it you are
nothing.

Excuse me I'm nauseous.

Despite all your bullshit, the reality of

Assholes of the earth expel
hamburger flesh like
a job

Layer layer layer
bullshit bullshit
self aggrandizing moustache
v-neck deep and
three bitches laughing along
at ANYthing you say

fuck mouth

Assholes of this earth or
Earth [sorry/not sorry]
unite[?]
in gang-rape of
something beautiful yet
un realized or
un manifest in
its
entirety so
whoop whoop
hooray and
whoop whoop light
another fire and
crack another
brew and
light light light light that
big ole' bonfire under the collective
asses of every one of your naive or
maybe just optimistic 'old man's YEAH
so kiss his cheek[?} or present your
ass cheeks I'm
really not sure which you're
down for but
something big
and offensive is
coming right[?]

Civilization as we
know it is
a
hilarious
pretence or
joke or
naive fantasy or
maybe strategy or
who knows or
who knows
or
who in the
hell
knows or
...

So I'm tired...
I'm unsure,
I feel unsettled maybe or
unqualified to cast my say
on what happens next...

I'm flawed, yes
I'm weak, oh yes yes,
I'm
I'm
...
I am




and nothing...

So much hair to cover that face, you've
got
So
much hair covering your lovely
face, baby girl I'm
sweating the hard stuff I'm
sweating every little imagined
scenario

Because I'm chronic worry and
I'm a tight gut
mother fucker I'm
annoying
at times aren't
I

(why bother asking you,
I know I am)

So as you cut all
your hair I
imagine this growth
of something something
hair hair love no that's
incorrect it's
hope hope
no
it's
dumb naive it's
fool delusion it's
stomach bursting through
walls of the real Now and
trying to manifest but
reality is the only
God god I

Wait I
Feel I
Tight gut
hunger I
yearn for
thirst in
want for
beg for
dream of
you
and
You
and
You
and I and
You

I make no spelling mistakes when
I'm
in love.

Love is

Your hospital bed is the end of the world,
I stopped killing spiders,
Now I
feel your lips every time I
wash my hands,
hear every struggling breath,
finally learned to weep,
your hospital bed is
love defeated by life.

Her

Whose violence is vocal, whose
lyrical exhalation is a cold wind,
whose eyelashes are nets trapping
the bycatch of beautiful vision,
whose sweat is a fuel for sleeping
sickness,
whose history is an ocean of tears,
whose love is measured in the
misspent years between trying
and hopelessness, between
the faceless I and the changed
I,
whose two spirited truth seals
this night time casket,
night time night,
whose cruelty is soft, and
innocent, and honest.

I understand/I don't understand.

Time

It's almost
time.

...To a box in a hole in the Earth which is a sphere...

Crashed astronaut or naked
ape, or damn
fool tabby cat, throbbing
heart and shiver cage

Shell of plaster shaking
in a wind, aging in fast forward,
forwardly spiralling backwards in
the 4th dimension

Hail of empty lung prayers is the
story of the night time night,
common, very
very common

Now I'm not long for this world,
the shakes are getting worse and
my brave cowardice is peaking on
angry fuel

Who is fed up, who is tired, and
who simply disagrees with the
structure of the
It or who simply
cannot navigate the deafening
noises patterns of human
emotional language and
interpretation,
yes, who speaks and speaks and
speaks and is never
understood in 1:1

So I will die and lose*
this Thing I know, it will
never see humans.

Gasping Gasping Gasping

I feel different, difficult, devoted ghost, starving heart...

Listless eyelids useless art,
band of sleepers band apart,
Caution eyesore karmic lamb,
foolish tabby this I am
Gentle nightmare wooded jaw,
bloody bed sheet manger straw
Fleeting chapter crooked spine,
frozen tongue converging line
Sinew silence gasping sex,
gasping gasping gasping -
hex
Coral sunset beauty keep,
waking vision chorus sleep
Callous gesture fickle eye
Friendless snowfall baby sly

and
Gasping gasping gasping -
sleep and
gasping gasping
sleep and
gasping sleep and
-.

Angel # 2

Travel miles following the periods that
trail your sentences, you always
spoke in broken english

This child is a bridge between us,
my heart to your belly,
we built a furnace to
bear a star

So I've been time
traveling again through
letters, baby girl my
compass.

Angel

Lips ellipsis sister
hold my hand,
bear my vision and
carry me for water,
and someday meet
this angel she's my
daughter.

Lips ellipsis sister
wait
three days eight hours
5 cigarettes and a
glass of water

When you meet this angel
see your daughter.

Harpoon yourself, Idiot

'Yes, there are plenty of fish in the sea,
but I've only ever concerned myself with
Moby fucking Dick....'

'I told you this, I meant it....'

I would trade all of this
poison for the
vanilla boring safety of
love.

A dog, a
house,
kids.

Ignore

Sanctimonious I, fucking,
RIGHT?
BABY?

That's right.
Ignore the junky even
when he sees.

Avoiding A Tragedy

Abort that fucking baby,
Good Friday

Disorientation

Fire handguns into the night while
tigers hang in still time, faces of
men with no faces weep

Lying, the beautiful bride
takes everything, insult,
injury
pride

Noise patterns in chaos,
typical nights in
blackout drunk or approaching,
cannot hear over the
thin

thin

silence

450 for 35 Minutes

Wake in a room of tinfoil?
Trying to cook yourself no doubt,
oven of half baked ideas it's
not your fault

A little sugar a
little salt a little
love a little truth
a little honesty
a little wisdom
and blood from
anything that
moves

A tooth
an eyelash a
dash of tear drop
confession

Recipe
fur

Red Planet

Mars is above us, the
moon is gone,
red eye in the ceiling
of black black blankets and
fuck me, it's beautiful

Times like these, elegance gives
way to truth unbound,
fingers give way to tongues and
sound and I give
to gravity of moon gone
Mars

Red eye in the ceiling
Red eye in the night

***

'Wait', Impossible

And time filled with nothing,
ulcers ulcers ulcers
rhapsody intestinal
but everyone says 'wait'

Impossible

Big exit is calling

Sleep

Stuck

A lot of assholes and
a hard place

Drink up

Yellow teeth,
deserts in kansas
and stigmatizing smile
Fourteen minutes of safety
followed by two minutes
of repeated stab wounds to
the chest and gut
Do not let sadness and anger grow
Black cast iron pot filled with
bones and bones
and some water and salt
making bone soup and
you call that soup,
that's laughable
Train yard, train station
you have some fixation
with coming and going and
thousands of people
passing which,
is funny,
because you hate nothing more than
change
You dream of jellyfish constantly,
suffocating on that animated plastic,
killer afterbirth some kind of cruel
joke
Ramble, in your chair in the
empty room
in the
dark
in your apartment
in your hell
that is
a heaven
of sorts
Your sarcasm doesn't always outweigh your
weakness
Drink up
Forget
Your chin is nearly on your
chest

A Vision Of The Universe As Seen From The Beach Next To An Ocean That Doesn't Exist

Fish bowl museum
ocean of truth to drink in
live in
pray for

At the edge of that ocean
sand dunes stretch for
dreaming days, miles
until we wake from
milky smoke screens of
spinning

Eyes dance behind curtain
lids but catch the glow of
so many suns,
buried in those dreams
the hint of all the days
passed

Shivering now on a beach as
unfamiliar as this two mooned
night, I

Wait
By fireside for the tide
to ebb, for the one
winged albatross who
said nothing and nothing
then everything
all

in an
instant of
more
everything

There was
nothing
linear
about it

It was so
so
loud.

Headaches and Fingers

Beneath a suffocation cloud be
near me suffocation loud and
fear three visions:
a child
a bone
a broken branch

Entropy smoke in my eye, the
stinging electric the first feeling
in days aside from
gut
oh gut,
how I feel you

Suffocation cloud become the
silent treatment in a shroud of
headaches and fingers
headaches and fingers
headaches and fingers

March 2, 2011 and A Mystery Cloud

Did you attend the
coronation of the sky king

You did,
with every breath, with
eyes closed sleeping,
your horizontal prayer
to him

In your distorted room,
wide angle horizons,
muted whites,
you float above the bed
somehow stealing your
photographs right from
my dreams

Which is why I'm
obsessed

I don't know how you do it

Only the sky king knows
and he hates me

Pardon me,
it's time to
pull at my skin again

I have to go

'67 or '11, Sweltering

This is our summer of
love so
love the bomb, drink
water from the bong, take
lessons from the dharma eating
pigeons in the streets, take
what you need to
eat sleep shit shit shit
and
eat sleep weep weep weep for
sixty four hours of hell on earth

This is our sweet summer of love,
our sweltering hell.