Tuesday, January 13, 2009

In Progress

I'll be with her
as the night starts to thin
and the milk dawn pulls
like sheets from your bed


  1. Nope. The sun ADVANCES in the morning, night retreats. If the night is thinning, then shadows are pulling away from the bed.

    However, if she does get out of bed, you will see her.

  2. ..... The words In Progress aren't too often used for working titles of poems; they have a pretty straightforward function and I've urge you to avoid looking to seriously at anything that has this title. I post unfinished work publicly because public posting has become my canvas. When I hide things in files on my computer, they sit for 6 months.

    In this case, at the time of writing, I had two problems;
    1. I wanted to stop writing ( I was tired) but the piece/idea wasn't finished and
    2. I fully agree with you that the mechanics of meaning there are off without the rest of the poem. I probably could have finished it in a timely fashion had I been able to find the right words for what I wanted to say...

    THAT BEING SAID, the words exist as I want them to and I see in my mind the rest of the poem as it needs to be to make sense of the beginning. But again, I'm tired so this shan't be tonight.

  3. Wow, coming back to this too, I really regret making excuses or trying to explain myself.

    Daryl, dude, no. You + getting out of the interpretation business = extremely necessary.

    Ps - it's been months since all of this. I'm responding to an old situation which is weird I guess. But I haven't been pacing and brooding maniacally about it; I just happened to be reading this again now and well, I can't keep myself from feeling a bit....something.... something needed to be said...